Author Topic: Walking on Sunshine (Whoaaa ohhhhh)  (Read 785 times)

Offline Nik Woverius Rillians

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Walking on Sunshine (Whoaaa ohhhhh)
« on: 10/18/13 18:19:53 »
It really shouldn't be this hard to traverse the great and empty black of space. I mean, considering you can create a looping laser beam and use it as a sword that cuts through anything you'd think that not having the engines explode after one little asteroid strike would be well within the realms of possibility.

You'd think that, but you'd be wrong.

Nik Woverius Rillians, the man, the myth, the colossal fucktard, was rapidly discovering this as his recently "acquired" ship drifted inexplicably closer to a star that had no concept of personal space. He was boned, in so many words and he knew it. He was also sweating like a bastard.

Oh, and naked.

Not the most auspicious reentry to a Galaxy Far Far Way but there you have it. If you expected class and dignity you're about to be sorely disappointed....

There was nothing worse, in Nik's humble opinion, than feeling your trouser chap flail around like a boned fish as you rush desperately around a dead ship in a vain attempt to not die via gaseous fireball. It wasn't going well, as you can probably imagine, not having two brain cells to rub together kinda hampers your inability to repair complex machinery but Nik was a trier so he was giving it a bash in his usual terrified manner.

"Why?" He asked the gods that be. "Why the hell does this always happen to me? Why can't we just have a cut scene and hey presto! I'm where I want to be?" The gods that be deigned not to answer which proved how much of a cunt they were, in his eyes.

The engine compartment was a mess of smoke and the arid stink of charred wiring. It stung his eyes to the point of watering and when you factored in the thick sheen of perspiration caused by the hellish heat it was a toss up whether the sun would burn him alive or he'd dehydrate. Either way he had to get into the innards of the ion engine and fix it or he was screwed seven ways from sunday.

The casing was unbearably hot to the touch, so much so he cried out like a small child. His sweat drenched shirt was acquired for the ob, which he wrapped around his right hand and grappled with the panel. An example of his many strength pried it from its moorings before fire belched out taking off half an eyebrow.

"Son of a cunt!" He exclaimed wafting a hand in front of the open panel to clear the renewed smoke. Whatever had passed for intricate machinery before was now simply slag. It wasn't often that Rillians gave up all hope in the face of overwhelming odds (this is a blatant lie, he once considered his life a failure when he ran out of milk for his tea.) but this was a bridge too far.

"That's it then...." He whimpered as he collapsed to the decking, out stretched his arms and cried dramatically. "FUCK YOU SUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!"

Offline Starseeker

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Re: Walking on Sunshine (Whoaaa ohhhhh)
« Reply #1 on: 10/23/13 11:51:23 »
The door of the main engine room slid open. Coughing, Joan made her way in and tried to find the crying male through the still thick smoke cloud.

"It is not going well, Rillians", she said as she moved close to him.

She looked over his shoulder to the messed-up machinery.

"Blast! Why did you have to stumble on that piece of junk", she asked, throwing her hands up.

As he gazed upon her, he could see that her body and clothes were dirty with grease and soot.

"Come on, Nik. We will fry here if we do not make it to the escape pod."

Offline Nik Woverius Rillians

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Re: Walking on Sunshine (Whoaaa ohhhhh)
« Reply #2 on: 11/12/13 16:07:28 »
"What?" Was all Nik could ask as the sun shrugged off his insult and he turned at the sound of the voice.  The last time he checked, and he had often checked with hope, there were no blondes on his ship. There were no women for that matter, so who the hell was this?

"What?" It was really all his soon to be fried mind could muster in the face of this new development. It occurred to him much to late that he was naked although not before his brain promptly reminded him that this was a heat educed hallucination, therefore he had not committed any social faux pas more importantly than this: "What?"